Flying Solo

I’m halfway through hubby’s 16-day business trip, a hectic tour of four European countries and I forget how many cities. It’s the longest we’ve been apart, the longest the girls have gone without him, and, so far, we’re surviving, despite Peanut being sick and keeping me up all night twice, and not getting my preschool-time morning breaks, since she was too sick to go to school. I’ve called in reinforcements to make sure I have a few hours to myself every few days, including having my mom visit for two days, and going to visit her for two days, and aside from that I’ve just got a “let it slide” attitude going.

The other day, when String Bean was supposed to be having her quiet time so her sick sister could nap, but she kept making too much noise, I just laid down on her bed with her for a half hour, sharing my favorite memories of her as a baby (her favorite story is the way the NICU nurses called her “princess” from day one. They meant she was a high-maintenance baby, but she thinks they were predicting that she’ll marry a prince, live in a castle, and get to attend magical balls). The laundry’s piling up, the dishes are only getting done once a day, the dog isn’t getting walked, and we’re out of all groceries except milk and Annie’s macaroni and cheese, but I’m not worrying about any of it right now. We’re having lots of cuddle time on the couch and making up silly games and playing dress up, trying to keep String Bean engaged while Peanut gets some much-needed rest, and I try to fend off whatever bug she has with taking Emergen-C and washing my hands every ten minutes.

Hubby returns a week from today, is home for a day, then leaves again on another business trip. By then, we should have this whole flying solo thing down to a science. At some point I will have to break down and hit the grocery store, and do at least one load of laundry. But not today. Today we have some coloring books that need our attention, and a make-believe ball to attend in our princess gowns.

Traveling Man

One thing about having a husband who travels a lot for work is that you get used to it. Not in a good way, like you prefer it or anything, but over the course of each business trip, you adjust from operating in survival mode to functioning fairly well in single-mom mode. Then hubby comes home, with a suitcase of dirty laundry and different priorities and work vents to unload, and there’s an adjustment period. Not that it’s bad to have him back, just that it can be hard, especially if you’re as much of a control freak as I am, to switch hats in mid-stride, from sole parent back to joint parent, allowing for different discipline styles, opinions on appropriate volume levels for children’s voices, just how much mess is tolerable (from adults as well as kids), or how long a child has to sit at the table before an uneaten meal before being excused.

After a couple of months of business trip after business trip, hubby and I have now had three blissful weeks in the same city together. It’s been a long time since we’ve had this kind of togetherness, it was overdue, and I’m valuing every minute of it. Not just the extra hands for evening baths or dishes or tickle sessions with the girls, although I certainly appreciate all of that, but mostly it’s just been nice to have my best friend back, sitting on the couch with me after the kids are down each night, laughing with me about some nonsense a family member said that day, or the time the dog got trapped inside his dog bed, or a great line on a TV show. These are the things you lose when your connection is limited to a 20-minute phone call each evening, when you’re both too tired to think and can’t remember the list of household issues you wanted to discuss, much less a distant friend’s hilarious status update on Facebook that morning.

Hubby’s boss is already giving him a list of clients he needs to visit, across the country and around the world, and tomorrow he boards a plane for another business trip. While this great little spell of daily togetherness is coming to an end, I hope I remember a few things while he’s out of town this week. I’m going to try to forget sharing so many updates about school events or getting his opinion on house maintenance needs, and try to focus on a few funny things each day to share. After all, a little laughter together at the end of each day is the best way to connect.

Spring break

We're enjoying a few days away from the mayhem at home. Well, we've brought our mayhem with us, but we're enjoying spreading it all over my mother's house for a few days instead. With my daughter on spring break from school, and hubby away for the week on business, it was going to be a long week of trying to keep us all busy and sane. Much better to come visit Mom, who actually finds it charming when the girls trash her house, and whose method of quieting the whining dog in the night is to tuck him into bed with her (at home we have banished the dog from our bedroom, so he's really getting spoiled now).