Bendaroos

After years of commercial-free TV (PBS, Netflix online, DVDs, and a trigger-happy kid who couldn’t wait to use the skip button on the remote to pass by any commercials, scary parts, or boring parts), I’ve taped a few G-rated movies off the Disney channel, only to realize that the types of commercials they show are not the types of commercials String Bean wants to skip. So, now, I’m being inundated with requests for special light-up shoes, jewelry making kits, baby dolls that fold in half inside their very own carriers, and the one I hate the most: Bendaroos. These plasticky wanna-be pipe cleaners have become the bane of my existence. A normal conversation with String Bean will go like this: “Can you stop bothering your sister? Now, what do you want for lunch today?” “Mommy, I think I really need some Bendaroos.” “No, no Bendaroos. Lunch. Peanut butter and honey?” “But I really think I’d like Bendaroos. You can write your name with them.” “You can write your name with the pipe cleaners you already have. Or with a pen and paper.” “But Bendaroos are so fun!” She knows this because the advertisement tells her so. She’s learning all kinds of things she never needed to know from advertisements. She now needs a Rocket fishing rod, a Bedazzler, and this automatic toothpaste dispenser that fascinates her to no end. And I need to stop taping movies off the Disney Channel.