Saturday, May 09, 2009

Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day, to all of you wonderful, strong, capable, glorious moms out there. And an especially happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms who are not feeling particularly wonderful, strong, capable, or glorious right now. We all have our days. Hang in there.

Hours before having her first baby, my sister said that motherhood always felt like an exclusive club that she couldn’t seem to get into. Well, after ten years of trying, and six losses along the way, she’s finally in the club. Where before she’d spot a woman cradling a newborn in a grocery store line and have to avert her gaze to hide her sadness and frustration, she now marches right up to her to compare notes. Welcome to the club, sweetie, we’re glad to have you.

I have other friends who are still on that rough, hopeful road, recovering from loss, waiting for the grief to subside before trying again. My heart goes out to all of them. I suffered two miscarriages myself on my own road to motherhood. It is an even more exclusive club, one nobody hopes to belong to, and one that can make Mother’s Day a hard day to get through. I hope you are kind to yourselves today, and remember that you are loved and supported on this sometimes painful journey.

I’d also like to take a moment to salute all of those surrogate moms out there. You know you have one. A teacher, a coworker, a friend’s mother you secretly idolized, some woman who championed something about you for no apparent reason. A woman who just believed in you, and made you believe a little more in yourself. I’ve been collecting mother-figures for years, and I think they all know who they are, and I hope they all know how much I appreciate them.

And last, but certainly not least, to my own mother, my role model for the tough no-nonsense woman that I never quite became, thanks for all of your years of love, laughter, sacrifice, and strength.

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